Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Specialty Rose Gardener jobs? · Latest report #unsqqjtr
Your job has an expiration date
October 15, 2031
In 5 yearsYour delicate petal-counting skills are currently being indexed for total erasure.
Obsessive rose-whisperer with a tragic lack of wifi-connectivity.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision pruning without the sentimental attachment.
help!youAI▸ FLORAGEN-9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 YEARSAI's Special Power
calibrates pH levels while you sleep
You spend days manually pruning thorns, balancing soil pH, and watching for aphid infestations. Your existence is basically a recurring battle against nature's refusal to be efficient.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle scent of mildew before the sensor array even registers moisture.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
High-fidelity multispectral cameras map the exact growth patterns of your specific rose specimens.
Month 12
Smart-soakers take over irrigation, ensuring every root receives precise hydration without your guesswork.
Year 2
Tiny airborne bots identify and neutralize aphids with localized UV blasts instead of messy sprays.
Year 3.3
Multi-limbed gantry arms master the dexterity required to dead-head fragile blooms without bruising them.
Year 5 · D-Day
The system assumes full control and locks you out of the greenhouse permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92.9%
4 per day
Thorn-Related Band-Aid Usage
120 terms
Botanical Latin Memorized
Daily
Aphid-Induced Meltdown Frequency
Your severance
A lifetime supply of generic, plastic store-bought flowers.
Discussion
