Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sperm Bank Sommelier jobs? · Latest report #4rm2nt33
Your job has an expiration date
October 23, 2028
In 2 yearsDistinguishing vintage labels from generic vials is barely a full-time career.
Professional ice-cube counter with a very cold temperament.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect microscopic analysis with zero human bias.
oof.youAI▸ CRYOSORT PRO V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
optimises cryo-storage for maximum inventory density
You evaluate donor samples for motility and quality while managing the frozen inventory. Your job is basically spreadsheet ice-management.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still articulate the subtle flavor profiles of liquid nitrogen in a drafty storage room.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors automatically upload motility data straight to the central server.
Month 5
A gantry arm replaces your manual retrieval of frozen vials.
Month 12
Cameras replace your eyes to grade samples for concentration levels.
Month 16
Connected AI manages liquid nitrogen levels without human temperature checks.
Year 2 · D-Day
The CryoSort unit finalizes its takeover of the entire vault.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
45
Samples graded per hour
Infinite
Frozen storage capacity
High
Human error chance
Your severance
A one-year supply of high-end, non-cryogenic sparkling wine.
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