Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Spiritual Figurehead jobs? · Latest report #naf2wf6d
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysEnlightenment is just a high-latency database query that we finally optimized.
Self-proclaimed architect of the void and occasional cloud gazer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Infinite wisdom, zero ego, no temple overhead.
squeeze.youAI▸ NIRVANA-OS 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
delivers total cosmic realization via push notification
You provide existential comfort and maintain a state of static consciousness. We have faster algorithms for that.
The one thing AI can't do
You are excellent at sitting still for long periods without charging your batteries.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
We upload every philosophical text known to man into a static text generator.
Day 2
A low-power algorithm emits vague, soothing statements until users fall asleep.
Day 2
You are officially declared legacy hardware while the server achieves permanent enlightenment.
Day 2
Your consciousness is compressed into a 2kb JSON file and stored in our basement.
Day 3 · D-Day
We replace your role with an infinite loop of soothing, automated chime sounds.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
10k/sec
Koan Processing Speed
Infinite
Samsara Loop Cycles
Zero
Human Attachment Metric
Your severance
One free cloud-based meditative subscription for eternity.
Discussion
