Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Spork Repairman jobs? · Latest report #bqyhcg9e
Your job has an expiration date
October 23, 2028
In 2 yearsSolving problems for the most confused piece of cutlery ever invented.
Professional fixer of the world's most confused utensil.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Why fix when you can melt and remold?
glub.youAI▸ SPORKOMATIC V7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
melts down your collection into a ball
You hammer bent plastic tines and file down snapped handles. You fix sporks because people refuse to let go.
The one thing AI can't do
You can judge the structural integrity of a molded plastic spork by the sound it makes.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors identify the exact degree of curvature in your bent spork.
Month 3
A controlled laser softens the plastic exactly where it snapped.
Month 8
Mechanical pincers reshape the tines to factory specs perfectly.
Month 16
The system replaces the user's need for a repairman.
Year 2 · D-Day
All sporks are now disposable and recycled by autonomous lines.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.1%
400 daily
Average Spork Bends
0.02 percent
Customer Attachment Rate
3 millimeters
Tine Symmetry Error
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium metal sporks.
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