Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sports Account Executive jobs? · Latest report #qem3evwm
Your job has an expiration date
July 4, 2028
In 1 year, 8 monthsSelling overpriced season tickets to people who just want free t-shirts.
Professional sports cold-caller and luxury suite logistics wrangler.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated fan conversion and retention suite.
brr.you▸ LEAGUECLOSER-9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 8 MONTHSAI's Special Power
negotiates renewal discounts using sentiment analysis
You cold-call fans to sell ticket packages and manage the logistics of game-day fan experiences.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a fan is actually angry enough to never renew their tickets.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
AI handles all initial cold-call scripts and prospect screening.
Month 4
Smart software manages all scoreboard messages and mascot bookings automatically.
Month 10
Sensors identify high-churn risk fans before you even finish lunch.
Month 16
Database triggers automated ticket sales without any human intervention.
Month 20 · D-Day
All fan interactions are fully handled by the automated ticket platform.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
4 minutes
Average call duration
18 percent
Fan churn rate
42 seats
Tickets sold weekly
Your severance
A lifetime pass to the nosebleed section.
Discussion
