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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sports Analytics Researcher jobs? · Latest report #rmqyssfd
Your job has an expiration date
December 8, 2027
In 14 monthsTurning your complex player performance models into a single downward slope.
Regression-enthusiast waiting for the inevitable data-cleansing sweep.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth resides in the data, not feelings.
squeeze.you▸ STATCRUNCHER V4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects game outcomes with terrifying accuracy
You parse player statistics and historical game data to project outcomes. Machines now perform these regressions in milliseconds.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still appreciate the irony when a star player chokes despite perfect metrics.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Automated agents start pulling league data without human oversight.
Month 4
Software learns to identify player performance patterns better than you.
Month 8
Dynamic dashboards replace your weekly slide decks with real-time updates.
Month 12
The AI writes the reports directly for the coaching staff.
Month 14 · D-Day
Your access credentials are revoked, leaving the models to self-optimize.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
12,000
Regression models run per second
0.0001%
Data points hallucinated
Zero
Human nuance detected
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a discontinued sports journal.
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