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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sports Commentator jobs? · Latest report #drbpuvd4
Your job has an expiration date
March 16, 2028
In 17 monthsYour breathlessly excited shouting is just a sequence of predictive tokens.
Professional loud-mouth with a penchant for manufactured drama.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Authentic enthusiasm without the post-game exhaustion.
stretchy.youAI▸ VOXPOPULI PLAY-BY-PLAY V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 17 MONTHSAI's Special Power
mimics your signature catchphrases flawlessly
You provide real-time play-by-play analysis and color commentary during live athletic events. You fill silence with anecdotes.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a stadium crowd shifts from hope to despair.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Sensors map stadium sounds and player movements into real-time code.
Month 4
AI models copy your cadence, vocabulary, and specific energetic peaks.
Month 8
Digital broadcasts test AI commentary against live event video streams.
Month 12
Processing speed drops to zero lag for seamless play-by-play interaction.
Month 17 · D-Day
Your microphone is permanently unplugged in favor of synthetic hype.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97%
4.2
Average words per second
12%
Gaffe probability
4 hours
Time spent eating snacks
Your severance
A lifetime supply of throat lozenges and silence.
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