Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sports Journalist jobs? · Latest report #ahmh3yc2
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYour hot takes are just data points waiting to be synthesized.
Professional word-spinner and locker room fly on the wall.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning game logs into headlines instantly.
oof.you▸ PRESSBOX NEURAL-V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates post-game commentary in real-time
You chase locker room quotes and turn game statistics into readable narratives. The machine does this in seconds.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a coach is lying during a post-game press conference.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Sensors ingest official league game logs to generate basic summaries.
Month 5
Models scrape social media to gauge fan reaction and player moods.
Month 10
Audio models transcribe and summarize coach press conferences automatically.
Month 15
Algorithms blend stats and quotes into coherent, dramatic game recaps.
Month 18 · D-Day
The press box goes fully digital, and your keyboard sits idle.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
12
Quotes per game
85
Words per minute
4%
Typo probability
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our automated sports feed.
Discussion
