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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sports Minister jobs? · Latest report #5c73bv6i
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsBlessing the extreme games with higher latency than a dial-up modem.
High-altitude chaplaincy for the dopamine-dependent crowd.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated benedictions for every adrenaline junkie.
glub.youAI▸ SACRAMENT-X 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers extreme absolution during mid-air backflips
You officiate extreme sports events with high-octane sermons and prayer-based athlete blessing rituals.
The one thing AI can't do
You can genuinely pretend to believe the athlete survived by divine intervention alone.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smartphones replace your daily morning spiritual motivation segments.
Month 6
Camera drones carry sacred water for remote stunt blessings.
Month 15
Athletes use goggles to attend virtual rites from base camps.
Year 2.2
Sensors detect high heart rates and trigger automated calm-down audio.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
A single server console fully manages all spiritual event compliance.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
1200
Blessings per second
99%
Adrenaline conversion rate
0.01%
Stunt failure rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of energy drinks and static.
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