Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sports Performance Analyst jobs? · Latest report #eyytq5a6
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsTurning human sweat into spreadsheets that nobody actually reads.
Professional spreadsheet builder for high-stakes athletes
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ultimate bench coach for your data.










toast.youAI▸ GAMEMODEL AI 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
processes game film in real-time
You track player metrics, edit game footage, and build data models to explain why the team keeps losing.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to a confused star athlete why the defensive rotation failed today.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Vision models identify every pass and shot without human help.
Month 4
Dynamic automated reports replace your static slide presentations.
Month 10
AI forecasts player fatigue levels and injury risks autonomously.
Month 16
The software generates tactical advice directly for the head coach.
Year 2 · D-Day
Your account is deleted as the system runs itself entirely.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.1%
40 per week
Hours spent on pivot tables
98 percent
Coaches who ignore your reports
500 plus
Videos tagged per match
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the team's failing app.
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