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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Sports Writer jobs? · Latest report #v4si7ytk
Your job has an expiration date
April 21, 2027
In 6 monthsYou turn locker room sweat into SEO bait for bots.
Professional weaver of narratives out of dry game statistics.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning live data into clickbait since yesterday.
toast.you▸ STATNARRATOR 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates hot takes from raw box scores
You chase athletes for quotes and type up recaps of games. It is mostly just summarizing box scores.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still get the athlete to say something stupid on a hot mic.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 8
Sensors pull live game stats directly into the text engine.
Week 5
AI models generate realistic athlete cliches without needing real interviews.
Month 3
Algorithms tweak titles to maximize clicks based on current trends.
Month 4
Robotic recording stations replace the need for physical media scrums.
Month 6 · D-Day
The site publishes stories before the game actually finishes playing.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 99.2%
12
Quotes invented per game
Instant
Box score reading speed
88%
Percentage of filler text
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our automated sports blog generator.
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