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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace SQL Analyst jobs? · Latest report #hgx5yx8x
Your job has an expiration date
April 21, 2027
In 6 monthsYour queries will soon be written by someone who never gets sleepy.
Data wrangler, logic builder, master of the inner join.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning business chaos into perfect structured results.
squeeze.you▸ QUERYOPTIMISER PRO V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
joins all tables without a single error
You translate business questions into complex database queries and reconcile data discrepancies across multiple reporting tables.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the business logic behind a broken metric makes no sense.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 13
Smart agents begin suggesting fixes for your messy query syntax.
Week 8
Stakeholders start asking the database directly instead of emailing you.
Month 3
The machine checks your report numbers against source data automatically.
Month 5
System models learn how to join your tables without human input.
Month 6 · D-Day
The machine generates the entire report suite while you clean your desk.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.8%
40 percent
Time spent fixing joins
200ms
Average query response latency
12 percent
Human error in syntax
Your severance
A one-year subscription to a cloud data warehouse.
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