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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace SQL Application Consultant jobs? · Latest report #94fqyzaf
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour recursive common table expressions are just expensive ways to hide debt.
Expert in turning business logic into slow database crawls.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating the death of your indexing strategy.
no no noyou▸ SCHEMALOGIC V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
rewrites deadlocked queries in millisecond bursts
You optimize query execution plans and model relational databases. You spend your life explaining why joins take forever.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still intuitively guess why a specific execution plan is failing under load.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors monitor your slowest queries and suggest instant index fixes.
Month 4
Models generate perfect schemas from simple business requirement inputs.
Month 8
Agentic systems rewrite your legacy SQL into efficient micro-batch jobs.
Month 13
Self-healing databases re-index themselves without human intervention or locking.
Month 19 · D-Day
The logic is now fully automated and you are entirely redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
42
queries refactored daily
112
hours lost to locking
9
deprecated join types
Your severance
A one-year subscription to a defunct database manual.
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