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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Squirrel Farm Attendant jobs? · Latest report #4hnu5s36
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2029
In 3 yearsConverting high-speed rodent chaos into low-speed quarterly revenue projections.
Professional nut wrangler in a high-stakes rodent industry.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating the nut-gathering supply chain effectively.
help!youAI▸ RODENTLOGIC V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
tracks elusive rodents with precision vision
Attendants monitor acorn distribution, manage complex nesting structures, and track squirrel health for fur harvesting. You facilitate the frantic life cycles of uncooperative, hyperactive, bushy-tailed assets.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the specific patience to untangle tails caught in the fencing at dawn.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors begin tracking squirrel movement patterns to identify which rodents are most prone to stalling.
Month 7
Smart dispensers replace your manual acorn distribution and track intake with milligram precision.
Month 16
High-speed vision-guided arms replace human sorting of nuts, eliminating the need for your clumsy fingers.
Year 2.2
Biometric sensors in the enclosures detect illness faster than any human attendant could possibly notice.
Year 3 · D-Day
The farm functions autonomously, rendering the concept of a 'squirrel attendant' a historical footnote.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
42%
Acorn waste percentage
14
Bite incidents annually
500:1
Rodent-to-human ratio
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium sunflower seeds.
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