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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Squirrel Rancher jobs? · Latest report #qt63jgaq
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsManaging rodents with delusions of grandeur is hardly a career, Susan.
Professional nut-hoarder with a chaotic rodent complex.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Systematic control for your furry assets.
help!youAI▸ RODENT-FLOW 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
deploys ultrasonic frequency to corral rodents
You spend your days herding arboreal mammals, monitoring nut storage, and preventing inter-colony territorial disputes. Your existence is essentially a glorified, high-stress game of Tag.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still distinguish between a genuine alarm call and a playful chattering.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors identify caloric deficits and trigger precise nut delivery without human intervention.
Month 10
Micro-vibration plates monitor burrow stability and detect internal skirmishes instantly.
Year 2.1
Vision models track individual squirrel temperament to predict and prevent pack violence.
Year 3
Automated arms patch holes and sanitize cache sites using precision lasers.
Year 4 · D-Day
You are invited to leave as the ranch runs at 99.9% efficiency autonomously.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.5%
450
Squirrels per enclosure
12%
Nut spoilage rate
Weekly
Bite-related bandages
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium unsalted almonds.
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