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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Staff Assistant jobs? · Latest report #iftt5icc
Your job has an expiration date
August 28, 2027
In 10 monthsYour primary skill is being a human shield for angry constituents.
Professional gatekeeper, calendar tetris champion, call screener extraordinaire.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating your inbox and your empathy
stretchy.youAI▸ CAPITOLCONNECT V4▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters aggressive calls with fake empathy
You manage appointment calendars, filter incoming phone calls, and shepherd visitors through complex office security protocols.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a lobbyist is lying to your boss.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart bots handle your generic constituent replies overnight.
Month 3
Calendar software locks your boss's time without your input.
Month 5
Automated systems handle angry callers with soothing synthetic tones.
Month 7
Facial recognition replaces your manual visitor check-in process.
Month 10 · D-Day
Your access badges are revoked while the system logs off.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
99.9%
Call diversion rate
12 per day
Coffee delivered
Off the charts
Constituent annoyance level
Your severance
A LinkedIn recommendation written by a bot.
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