Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Staff iOS Engineer jobs? · Latest report #wwzn2mfp
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYou spend all day fixing memory leaks that your replacement creates.
Master of CocoaPods, survivor of the migration to SwiftUI.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Legacy refactoring for a post-human era.
oof.you▸ CODEARCHITECT-SWIFT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
deletes your technical debt in one click
You architect massive Swift codebases, navigate legacy Objective-C, and fight Apple's ever-changing design guidelines. Your replacement will simply delete the entire codebase.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the build broke at 3am because of a cache issue.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
AI-powered linters force your style guide onto every pull request without human intervention.
Month 3
Autonomous agents perform mass migrations of deprecated Swift syntax across your entire repository.
Month 8
Large language models generate entire feature sets from Jira tickets with zero human oversight.
Month 13
Real-time crash monitoring systems automatically patch production memory leaks before users notice.
Month 18 · D-Day
The repository is locked and the entire codebase is rewritten by a non-human entity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.3%
4:1
Coffee-to-PR ratio
12/day
Hours spent on UI nitpicks
88%
Percentage of code deprecated by Apple
Your severance
A lifetime supply of expired Apple developer stickers.
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