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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Startup Account Manager jobs? · Latest report #uk6tnv7n
Your job has an expiration date
February 8, 2029
In 2 years, 4 monthsYou sell cloud space by pretending you enjoy their pitch decks.
Expert at nodding while founders talk about their pivot.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing deals before the coffee gets cold.
squeeze.you▸ CLOUDLINK AUTOMATOR 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 4 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters bad startups with cold efficiency
Managing startup relationships to push cloud services and build ecosystem dependency.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a founder is lying about their runway in real-time.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Your CRM begins auto-drafting your emails based on startup growth data.
Month 5
A voice-agent handles the routine weekly touch-base calls with founders.
Month 13
Algorithms identify which startups will churn before they even know it.
Month 21
Founders start preferring the bot because it is always available.
Year 2.3 · D-Day
Your portal access is revoked and the bot takes your accounts.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
4.2
Coffee cups per deal
3,400
LinkedIn connection requests
94%
Bullshit buzzword density
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a meditation app.
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