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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Startup Beverage CEO jobs? · Latest report #9aygxtcs
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYour pivot strategy is just a fancy way of burning investor cash.
Professional pitch deck architect and serial burn-rate optimiser.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ultimate algorithm for intoxicating market growth.
oof.youAI▸ BEVCORP-AI 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
autogenerates a pivot strategy every four hours
You chase distribution deals, manage erratic supply chains, and pitch to VC firms until your equity finally vests.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only person who can convincingly lie to investors about the brand's potential.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors identify which beverage trends will actually generate profit margins.
Month 5
AI negotiators handle term sheets without getting drunk at lunch.
Month 10
Smart contracts replace your manual raw material sourcing orders.
Month 16
Algorithms map the most efficient routes for your liquid assets.
Year 2 · D-Day
The software assumes full control of your startup entity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.7%
$50k monthly
Average burn rate
Tri-weekly
Pivot frequency
0.02 percent
Pitch success rate
Your severance
One crate of unsold inventory and a LinkedIn ban.
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