Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Statistician Researcher jobs? · Latest report #8scb7xe9
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour R code is elegant, but the model has already converged.
PhD-wielding R-wizard stuck in an academic feedback loop.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated inference without the pedagogical overhead.
oof.youAI▸ STATCRUNCHER PRO V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates p-hacking without human moral interference
You clean messy datasets using R and teach undergraduates the basics of hypothesis testing and statistical inference.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a student is lying about their data collection methods.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Intelligent parsing models identify and patch missing values automatically.
Month 5
Large language agents generate your R scripts from plain research objectives.
Month 10
AI tutors answer all 101-level stats questions without needing sleep.
Month 15
Systems format your findings directly into ready-to-publish journal templates.
Month 19 · D-Day
All academic research tasks are handled by high-speed statistical inference pods.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.6%
4.2 cups
Coffee consumed per p-value
94%
Students confused by ANOVA
12 weekly
Hours debugging R dependencies
Your severance
A one-year subscription to a cloud compute cluster.
Discussion
