Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Statistics Researcher jobs? · Latest report #thztdwbx
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsYour Bayesian models are just high-definition guesses for people in suits.
Stats PhD playing god with simulated missile trajectories.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth without the pesky existential dread.
split.youAI▸ THINKTANK-LOGIC 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
simulates ten thousand war scenarios per second
You crunch military test data to see if prototypes work. Then you write reports that nobody ever reads.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a general about the confidence intervals without crashing.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
The AI starts pulling raw test logs from secure servers.
Week 6
Visualisation scripts replace your manual R-Studio reporting workflows.
Month 3
Generative models produce the executive summaries you currently write.
Month 4
The software begins proposing the test parameters themselves.
Month 6 · D-Day
A terminal message informs you that your clearance is revoked.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.9%
12 cups
Coffee consumed per report
94%
Probability of zero impact
3
Slide decks generated daily
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to classified PDF archives.
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