Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Storage Consultant jobs? · Latest report #u5dgptzw
Your job has an expiration date
December 9, 2027
In 14 monthsYour complex data tiering strategy is just a sorted list now.
Still waiting for the SAN to finally just work.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated lifecycle management for every byte.
sluurp.you▸ DATAFLOW V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimises storage tiers while you sleep
You plan data migration paths and choose hardware tiers. You fix storage bottlenecks when the arrays hit capacity.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still physically identify which blinking cable is causing the legacy array to panic.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors identify bottlenecks before you even open the ticket.
Month 4
Algorithms handle LUN mapping better than your manual zoning.
Month 8
Software shifts data based on heat, no consultant needed.
Month 12
Arrays update themselves without your overnight maintenance windows.
Month 14 · D-Day
Your expertise is moved into a read-only archive file.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
400 percent
Average latency improvement
too high
Human error rate
five nines
Uptime guarantee
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our automated cloud tiering service.
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