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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Storage Solutions Engineer jobs? · Latest report #tsnw6ukm
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou design complex data palaces for a future that lacks inhabitants.
LUN-wrangler, latency-hunter, and fan of high-speed backplanes.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Self-optimizing storage for the cloud-native void.
bzzt.youAI▸ DATAVAULT AUTONOMIST 7.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
predicts disk failures before the array alerts
You architect storage arrays and migration paths. You spend days debugging LUN connectivity and performance bottlenecks.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a dying drive is about to ruin your weekend.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors identify failing hardware long before you touch a screwdriver.
Month 5
AI-driven logic handles all LUN creation and zone assignments.
Month 10
Workloads shift between tiers automatically without human intervention.
Month 15
Smart agents apply microcode updates during optimal low-traffic windows.
Month 19 · D-Day
The storage fabric now manages itself entirely.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
Too many
Average Latency Complaints
40%
Hours spent in firmware hell
Zero
Uptime sanity score
Your severance
Two months of cloud credits and a LinkedIn badge.
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