Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Strategy Associate jobs? · Latest report #nbdt977b
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour pivot table doesn't make you a strategist, just a glorified librarian.
Associate (expert in copy-pasting from other decks)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Real-time market logic without the caffeine jitters.
split.you▸ STRATEGYBOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates quarterly decks in six seconds
You chase SQL queries and build slide decks for people who never actually read them.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to stakeholders about why the projection numbers dropped last month.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 3
SQL queries are offloaded to automated agent clusters.
Month 4
Static dashboards are replaced by live model-generated insights.
Month 9
Models generate visual presentations directly from live data streams.
Month 15
AI predicts business trends faster than human analysis allows.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked once the model reaches full parity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
48
Average slides per day
82 percent
Time spent in meetings
12,000 yearly
SQL queries written
Your severance
A LinkedIn premium sub and one lukewarm bagel.
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