Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Street Corner Gymnast jobs? · Latest report #95uyjrax
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsGravity is eventually going to get tired of your unnecessary backflips.
Professional urban contortionist with high kinetic output
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect form, zero ego, infinite loops.
nom.you▸ URBANPERFORMANCE-BOT V4▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
maintains perfect balance on uneven pavement
Performing acrobatic feats for loose change and the fleeting attention of distracted passersby. You balance on hands, tumble, and rely on crowd enthusiasm.
The one thing AI can't do
You can genuinely feel the ground beneath your calloused palms while you perform.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors scan your optimal performance patches to identify high-traffic, low-friction zones.
Month 10
Robotic limbs practice landing on irregular sidewalk cracks to simulate your current human dexterity.
Year 1.9
Vision models optimize flashing LED patterns to out-perform your human charisma at scale.
Year 2.7
Units deploy with frictionless joints, executing routines that never fatigue or seek payment.
Year 4 · D-Day
The unit installs itself permanently, leaving you free to pursue gravity-neutral careers.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
0.12 USD
Coins per backflip
Excessive
Spinal wear rate
Variable
Crowd engagement
Your severance
A one-year supply of ergonomic knee pads.
Discussion
