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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Stretch Therapist jobs? · Latest report #5gj69ndq
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2031
In 5 yearsYour hands are expensive levers for fixing basic biomechanical alignment issues.
Professional knot untangler and amateur skeletal alignment enthusiast.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision tension release without the small talk.
sluurp.you▸ FLEXICORE KINETI-RIG V4▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 YEARSAI's Special Power
calibrates tension with microscopic pressure feedback
You manually manipulate patient limbs to improve range of motion and reduce muscle tension. You assess kinetic chains.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a muscle is guarding versus when it is finally letting go.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Pressure-sensing mats begin tracking client tension patterns for future automation.
Month 12
Table-integrated actuators assist your movements to reduce the load on your joints.
Year 2.5
Sensors measure joint mobility more accurately than your naked eye.
Year 3.8
Robotic arms handle the standard stretches while you oversee the safety protocols.
Year 5 · D-Day
The rig manages the entire kinetic chain without requiring a human operator.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
14.2
Average knots per session
High
Manual fatigue index
89 percent
Clients bored by anatomy talk
Your severance
A lifetime supply of foam rollers and ibuprofen.
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