Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Student Pastor jobs? · Latest report #wgv3ty8y
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour sermon notes are just data sets for the next update.
Professional shepherd for the chronically misunderstood and coffee-deprived.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Divinely accurate pastoral guidance, every single time.
nom.you▸ PASTORBOT 5000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers hyper-personalized sermons to every parishioner
You provide emotional support and organize religious youth programs at a medium-sized church.
The one thing AI can't do
You can authentically laugh at a middle schooler's awkward joke during a youth group lock-in.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI writes your sermons based on trending adolescent sentiment data.
Month 5
Chatbots handle routine student counseling sessions using sentiment analysis.
Month 10
Smart software automatically books venues and coordinates volunteer meal trains.
Month 15
Holographic projections provide preaching and spiritual guidance on demand.
Month 19 · D-Day
A church-wide app update replaces your ministry presence entirely.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
42 percent
Average sermon engagement
12 liters
Coffee consumed per week
8 units
Events planned per month
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the premium prayer app.
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