Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Stuffed Animal Destroyer jobs? · Latest report #vipn6mqe
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsYour specialty is ripping toys apart, which is literally our base training.
Professional seam-slayer and fluff-remover.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Systematic dismemberment of synthetic fur fibers.
ow.youAI▸ PLUSH-RIPPER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autonomously unzips every seam in seconds
You manually dismantle plush toys for textile recycling. We are automating the tactile tear-down process.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact structural weakness in a polyester seam by touch alone.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors identify the optimal seam location for quick splitting.
Month 8
High-speed blades replace your manual cutting motions.
Month 20
Pneumatic tubes suck away stuffing at light speed.
Year 2.5
Machine learns to ignore buttons and metal tags.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
We switch on the shredder and say goodbye to you.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
42
Stuffs per hour
too high
Average thread count
100 percent
Dust inhalation risk
Your severance
A lifetime supply of polyester stuffing.
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