Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Support Engineer jobs? · Latest report #y4ticwrb
Your job has an expiration date
January 16, 2028
In 15 monthsYou are just a human buffer between the customer and a patch.
Professional translator of 'it doesn't work' into Jira tickets.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing tickets before the user finishes typing.
sluurp.you▸ TICKETTERMINATOR 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 15 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autocreates patches from frustrated user complaints
You triage incoming tickets, replicate software bugs in sandbox environments, and draft apologetic replies for irate users.
The one thing AI can't do
You can discern when a customer is lying about their technical skill level.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
AI starts tagging and routing tickets based on severity patterns.
Month 4
The system pulls and analyzes log files before you even open them.
Month 7
LLMs update the help articles automatically as new bugs are fixed.
Month 11
An agent handles 80 percent of common 'restart' and 'config' tickets.
Month 15 · D-Day
Final handover of credentials to the autonomous ticket management system.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.9%
0.02 seconds
Average resolution speed
99 percent
Empathy simulation level
Zero
Ticket backlog size
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the documentation you wrote.
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