Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Surf Shop Retail Associate jobs? · Latest report #28qptuu4
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsSelling overpriced wax to tourists who do not surf is truly brave.
Professional boardshort folder and occasional wave liar.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Vending boards and sunshine without the attitude.
oof.youAI▸ SHOPBOT RETAIL KIOSK V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
recommends surf gear based on weather data
You fold boardshorts, re-stock sticky wax, and pretend to care about the day's swell forecast.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still tell a customer which wetsuit thickness they actually need, not just size.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Smart shelves count wax bars before you even touch them.
Month 8
Scanners measure customer bodies to bypass your wetsuit wrestling.
Month 20
A metal pod handles all sales and board sizing questions.
Year 2.5
Tiny vacuums clear the sand without requiring human effort.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The shop goes entirely self-service and you get a vacation.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
98 percent
Boards sold to posers
4 hours daily
Time spent talking surf
High
Wax melt rate
Your severance
One free surfboard bag and a permanent discount code.
Discussion
