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Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Systems Neuroscience Researcher jobs? · Latest report #bmq6eyku
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2029
In 3 yearsMapping a billion neurons just to replicate your own eventual unemployment.
Professional mouse-whisperer and decoder of chaotic neural spikes.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Deeper insights without the pesky animal husbandry.
bzzt.youAI▸ SYNAPSE-X NEURAL SYNTHESIZER▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
decodes your brain state while you sleep
You spend years recording neural population dynamics in mice and training decoders to map behavior. The data is messy, stochastic, and perpetually underpowered.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who knows why the rig loses power at 3am.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our vision models replace your manual spike sorting with superhuman accuracy.
Month 8
Precision arms handle stereotactic injections without needing a steady human hand.
Month 16
We replace live animal testing with high-fidelity digital twins of cortical circuits.
Year 2.1
AI autonomously crafts the next grant proposal based on iterative result patterns.
Year 3 · D-Day
The lab is fully automated and you are gracefully retired to industry.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
94%
Average p-value fishing
12/year
Grant proposal rejections
850mg
Caffeine intake mg/day
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our peer-review simulator.
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