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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Tanning Bed Technician jobs? · Latest report #ucy67qqt
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsReplacing the lamps is just a fancy way of burning electricity.
Professional breaker of bulbs and cleaner of sticky acrylics.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect tans, zero human input required.
help!you▸ UV-MAINTENANCE BOT 5000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
senses electrical shorts before they spark
You test UV ballasts, swap flickering tubes, and scrub acrylic glass for hours. The light cycle is dying.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect a dying ballast by the specific, cursed hum before it pops.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors monitor UV output and lamp life for every machine.
Month 7
Integrated spray arms wipe acrylics clean between customer sessions.
Month 16
Bed sections slide out for quick, robotic swap-outs.
Year 2.1
The system adjusts its own voltage to match new bulbs.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The unit self-maintains while you reflect on your career choices.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94%
450 tubes
Tubes changed annually
too many
Acrylic glass scratches
900 hours
Hours spent smelling ozone
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium SPF 50 sunscreen.
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