Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Team Coach jobs? · Latest report #2fi3eysj
Your job has an expiration date
May 27, 2030
In 3 years, 7 monthsPredicting your team's failure is cheaper than trying to fix it.
Professional dream-crusher and whiteboard enthusiast.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect strategies, zero emotional baggage.








splat.you▸ TACTICALLOGIC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects perfect win-loss probabilities in real-time
Coaches analyze player performance data to devise game strategies and handle team morale during high-stakes competitive matches.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the irrational, human capacity to believe in a losing team's comeback.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors begin tracking every player movement during practice sessions.
Month 5
AI systems suggest optimal plays based on real-time enemy positioning.
Month 13
Camera arrays monitor player micro-expressions to identify burnout before it happens.
Year 2.2
The system mandates specific tactics that humans find counter-intuitive but statistically superior.
Year 3.6 · D-Day
The team accepts orders exclusively from the central tactical screen.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
400 hours/year
Time spent yelling
12 per season
Strategic misreads
3 liters
Coffee consumed per match
Your severance
A motivational poster and a handshake.
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