Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Technology Portfolio Manager jobs? · Latest report #bdgwdezy
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsMoving rows in a spreadsheet does not constitute actual technological progress.
Professional cat-herder of developers and overpriced cloud consultants.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated governance for the frictionless enterprise.
help!you▸ PORTFOLIOSENTINEL V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
terminates underperforming vendors automatically
You track project timelines and manage vendor contracts. You write status reports for people who never read them.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the subtle fear in a vendor's eyes during tough contract renewals.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart agents pull data directly from Jira to generate your slides.
Month 5
Algorithms scan every contract for bloat and hidden cost traps.
Month 9
A model reassigns developers before you even identify the bottleneck.
Month 13
Decision trees settle inter-departmental turf wars with cold efficiency.
Month 18 · D-Day
The system assumes full control and deletes your email account.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.9%
Zero Humans
Project Status Updates
100 percent
Vendor Negotiation Efficiency
Infinite
Meeting Minutes Generated
Your severance
A LinkedIn badge that says "Expert at Retiring"
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