Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Temporal Animal Whisperer jobs? · Latest report #sv3thbuq
Your job has an expiration date
September 29, 2126
In 100 yearsReality isn't breaking; your billing department is just very confused.
Unpaid consultant for reality-warping and local fauna diplomacy.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Physics-defying pet management for the modern era.
split.youAI▸ CHRONOS-CRITTER 9000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 100 YEARSAI's Special Power
unfolds the space-time continuum for snacks
You claim to negotiate with squirrels and skip lunch through time. We have noted this.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to a confused cat exactly where the timeline went wrong.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors map animal neuro-patterns into a readable format.
Year 2.7
Automated fields stop you from folding the office layout.
Year 14
AI handles all communication with non-linear entities.
Year 41
Global settings enforce a strict, single-stream timeline.
Year 100 · D-Day
Your services are no longer needed by the static universe.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
Infinite
Temporal Drift
Zero
Animal Compliance
Your severance
A one-way ticket to the Jurassic period.
Discussion
