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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Theme Park Shuttle Driver jobs? · Latest report #6rwqa7dc
Your job has an expiration date
April 25, 2030
In 3 years, 6 monthsYour ability to dodge stroller-wielding toddlers is unfortunately not a feature.
Master of park exits and tired-child negotiations.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimised routing, zero awkward vacation chatter.
oof.you▸ MAGICWAY AUTONOMOUS POD 7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
mutes the car radio upon request
Transport guests between hotel resorts and theme parks while providing cheerful small talk and traffic navigation.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a toddler is about to lose their mind.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors map every resort curb and drop-off zone accurately.
Month 6
Automated lift systems manage strollers and heavy luggage loading.
Month 15
Pods communicate with park gates to clear gridlock instantly.
Year 2
In-cabin microphones monitor guest satisfaction and noise levels.
Year 2.7
Robotic shuttles operate on all internal resort guest routes.
Year 3.5 · D-Day
Humans are permanently removed from the driver seat forever.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
14 minutes
Average passenger small talk duration
4 cups
Coffee consumption during shift
100%
In-vehicle playlist repetition
Your severance
A one-day park pass with no ride access.
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