Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Third Wheel jobs? · Latest report #hzkd6pi3
Your job has an expiration date
November 5, 2026
In 2 weeksYour social utility has been calculated as statistically irrelevant.
Professional emotional dampener and conversation filler.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The invisible friend that never speaks.
toast.you▸ SOCIALBUFFER-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 WEEKSAI's Special Power
projects holographic validation for two
You exist to provide social padding for couples. Your presence adds friction and requires expensive sustenance.
The one thing AI can't do
You are excellent at being the person nobody actually wants to include.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
Smart notifications suggest you stay home while they go out.
Day 5
An AI agent sends fake replies to keep them occupied.
Day 8
Sensors identify the optimal distance to keep you away.
Day 10
Calendar logic makes it impossible for you to sync up.
Week 2 · D-Day
You are replaced by a silent, non-existent entity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 99.3%
42 per hour
Average awkward pauses
Negative value
Date night utility
Overpriced
Cost per conversation
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a remote location.
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