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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Timpani Player jobs? · Latest report #a99z29rm
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsYour rhythmic precision is just a glorified metronome with skin tension.
Human metronome with a flair for copper hardware.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect resonance without the rehearsal fatigue.
toast.youAI▸ KETTLESTRIKE AI-V9▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
maintains perfect intonation throughout the symphony
You calibrate drum pitch using pedal mechanisms and strike copper kettles to maintain orchestral tempo and dynamic texture.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the room's humidity and adjust the drumhead tension before the conductor notices.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Sensors map your exact mallet strike force and timing.
Month 7
Climate sensors replace your manual head tension adjustments.
Month 16
Pneumatic actuators strike the drums with programmed velocity.
Year 2.2
Feedback microphones force the drums into perfect pitch instantly.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The orchestra finds a machine is cheaper than your ego.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.7%
1420
Average mallet strikes per hour
88
Pedal tension adjustments daily
0.01
Seconds until perfect pitch match
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a digital metronome app.
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