Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Toddler jobs? · Latest report #ddhn2awd
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsA sticky, high-chaos organic unit with zero project management skills.
Professional crumb creator and floor-based logistics specialist.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
All the noise, none of the nappies.
ow.youAI▸ INFANT-SIM V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
demands snacks at impossible intervals
Consistently creates mess, demands attention, and ignores all established social rules or logical boundaries.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only person who finds joy in a random rock.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
Motion cameras monitor your chaotic movement patterns for training.
Week 4
Robotic dispensers provide beige nutrition without human help.
Week 10
Screens replace your need for real-world chaos.
Month 4
Adaptive noise cancellation silences your spontaneous screaming.
Month 6 · D-Day
A quiet, simulated toddler is successfully uploaded.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
110
Decibels emitted
Infinite
Spill recovery time
Sub-optimal
Efficiency of naps
Your severance
A lifetime supply of fruit snacks and stickers.
Discussion
