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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Toddler Teacher jobs? · Latest report #gacjyp7g
Your job has an expiration date
October 12, 2066
In 40 yearsCleaning up toddler messes at scale is harder than it looks.
Professional referee for the two-year-old wrestling league.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Patience programmed, mess management deployed.
bzzt.you▸ TOTTENDER-GUARDIAN 9000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 40 YEARSAI's Special Power
de-escalates meltdowns with perfect calm
Managing unstructured chaos with toddlers, from potty training to snacks and nap time coordination.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense a tantrum starting before the toddler even draws breath.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
Sensors track breathing and movement during sleep cycles.
Year 2.7
Controlled dispensers serve pureed nutrition on demand.
Year 14
Micro-drones deploy to sanitize every sticky surface hourly.
Year 25
Robotic units deploy calming sounds to diffuse early tension.
Year 40 · D-Day
Human teachers exit; the facility now runs on pure logic.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92.6%
42
Average daily toddler tantrums
180
Diapers changed per week
0.02%
Patience levels at 4pm
Your severance
A lifetime supply of stain-resistant toddler clothing.
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