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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Trampoline Instructor jobs? · Latest report #scigmkha
Your job has an expiration date
September 20, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsGravity is a constant, and your career is about to plummet.
Professional vertical displacement specialist avoiding early onset joint failure.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Consistent oscillation for maximum engagement.
split.youAI▸ BOUNCEMASTER 3000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calibrates spring tension for zero human effort
You facilitate guided bouncing sessions and ensure safe landings on spring-loaded surfaces. We are replacing you with a motorized floor.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a student is about to lose their balance and panic.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Sensors map the bounce surface to identify potential collision zones without your human input.
Month 5
Robotic spring-hooks adjust mat tautness based on real-time weight sensor data from the platform.
Month 11
Voice-synthesized cues dictate the perfect jump height to ensure maximum efficiency for every participant.
Month 16
Automated spray arms clean the vinyl while you are still trying to remember your morning coffee.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The motors lock your terminal forever, leaving you free to explore the ground-based economy.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
Sub-optimal
G-force tolerance
100%
Bounce fatigue
Zero
Accidental launches
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a non-bouncing career path.
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