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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Trampoline Park Court Monitor jobs? · Latest report #yermbhej
Your job has an expiration date
August 23, 2030
In 3 years, 10 monthsYou are a glorified human speed bump for reckless children.
Professional whistle blower and trampoline-based conflict negotiator.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total surveillance for bouncy surfaces.
glub.youAI▸ JUMPGUARD VISION MESH▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
deploys ultrasonic deterrents to silence rowdy jumpers
You watch jumpers for safety rules and clear crowded zones. You also blow a whistle to stop fights.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the specific chaos of a birthday party before it turns physical.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
High-speed optical sensors map every movement on the jump mats.
Month 10
Smart speakers broadcast warnings when rules are violated by jumpers.
Year 1.9
Electronic floor lights signal when a section is at capacity.
Year 3
Algorithms predict fights before they start and lock bounce zones.
Year 3.8 · D-Day
You are replaced by a silent system that never needs a break.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
42
Whistle blasts per hour
8
Socks retrieved from rafters
100%
Teenagers yelled at
Your severance
A lifetime pass to a gym you no longer visit.
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