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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Trampoline Wedding Priest jobs? · Latest report #pum39mii
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthGravity is the only thing standing between you and full automation.
High-altitude officiant with a flair for the dramatic.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Sanctity delivered with a perfect vertical.
bzzt.youAI▸ VOWBOUNCE-X9▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers sermons while maintaining 4-meter altitude
Performing matrimonial rites mid-air requires timing, stamina, and a complete lack of basic human dignity.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact moment the couple realizes this was a terrible idea.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 11
Sensors track the couple's bounce patterns for optimized sermon delivery.
Month 11
Directional audio replaces your voice to ensure zero mid-air distortion.
Year 2.1
Robotic arms provide the necessary counter-balance to keep the altar steady.
Year 2.9
Automated waivers are signed via retina scan during the first bounce.
Year 4 · D-Day
The VowBounce-X9 performs the entire ceremony with mathematical perfection.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
3.2G
Average G-force per vow
44 percent
Unintentional mid-air collisions
12
Average sermon length (seconds)
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium bounce park.
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