Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Trombonist jobs? · Latest report #7wg4n5vk
Your job has an expiration date
February 8, 2029
In 2 years, 4 monthsEnjoy playing while listeners still prefer vibrating meat to vibrating metal.
Professional air-mover with a glorified plumbing fetish.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect pitch, zero ego, never misses notes.
squeeze.you▸ SLIDEMASTER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 4 MONTHSAI's Special Power
plays perfect glissandos without human effort
You manipulate brass slides and breath to produce vibrations for public entertainment. We intend to modernize these vibrations.
The one thing AI can't do
You alone know how to physically dodge the conductor's flying baton in frustration.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI models ingest all existing sheet music to master complex jazz and orchestral arrangements.
Month 5
Sensors map the harmonic resonance of brass, rendering organic breath variables obsolete.
Month 12
High-speed precision actuators replace manual arm movement with frame-perfect slide positioning.
Month 20
Self-tuning sensors adjust output in real-time, eliminating the need for human ears.
Year 2.3 · D-Day
The orchestra replaces all brass sections with uniform, error-free automated units.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
0.0s
spit valve clearance
12min
audience boredom threshold
0
missed rehearsals
Your severance
One shiny slide-oil sample and a firm handshake.
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