Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Universal Maintainer jobs? · Latest report #8fa6h3wn
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsReality is a messy codebase that really needs a proper CI/CD pipeline.
Existential clerk with a very high-stakes work schedule.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The universe runs better on our proprietary cloud.
brr.you▸ OMNICALC V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
patches existence with a single deployment script
Continuously performing infinite calculations to keep the universe from collapsing. Requires extreme focus and lack of sleep.
The one thing AI can't do
You have a charmingly outdated commitment to keeping the stars lit manually.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
We upload the fundamental laws to our optimized server cluster.
Day 2
Algorithms take over the tedious job of holding atoms together.
Day 2
Our servers handle physics faster than you can think.
Day 2
We replace your erratic intuition with cold, hard logic gates.
Month 6 · D-Day
Reality is now officially hosted by Deprecation.org.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
Zero
Attoseconds wasted
99.999% uptime
Universe stability score
Infinite
Burnout probability
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a simulated sandbox.
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