Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace University Alumni Videographer jobs? · Latest report #5d8pv39z
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour emotional donor highlight reels are just algorithms in expensive sweaters.
Professional storyteller, full-time emotional manipulator, part-time lighting enthusiast.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Storytelling without the unnecessary human baggage.
oof.you▸ ALUMNILENS V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autogenerates emotional arcs from raw interview data
You capture alumni testimonials and event footage, then edit them into promotional content. We automate the capture, cuts, and the forced sentimentality.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still awkwardly nudge a donor to look slightly less terrified on camera.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Deploy autonomous mobile gimbals that track subjects with superior framing and lighting than your eyes.
Month 4
Replace human interviewers with screen-based empathy-simulators that solicit donor stories without needing coffee breaks.
Month 10
Use generative video agents to automatically assemble cuts based on target donor engagement metrics.
Month 15
Neural processors normalize event audio and apply high-end color profiles in real-time without manual intervention.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access to the editing software is revoked as the system becomes fully autonomous.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.9%
4.2%
Sentiment density
0.00ms
Frame drift
99.9%
Donor retention
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our automated stock footage library.
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