Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace University Communications Director jobs? · Latest report #dfwaku2u
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsTurning thousand-word press releases into one-sentence AI summaries for bored reporters.
Master of the Oxford comma and academic damage control.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Press releases without the existential dread.
stretchy.youAI▸ COMMSBOT UNI-VERSION 4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters faculty ego out of press releases
You draft institutional statements and manage media inquiries. You translate academic jargon into PR-approved fluff for university websites.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a faculty scandal will actually ruin the university's reputation.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors monitor social media for brand-damaging student activity in real-time.
Month 5
Language models rewrite your dry announcements into engaging, click-worthy university news.
Month 10
AI predicts reputation threats before faculty can even form a committee.
Month 15
Automated systems answer journalist queries directly without human PR intervention.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access to the press release portal is revoked permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
0.04 seconds
Average crisis response time
99.9% reduction
Academic jargon translated
Zero
Meetings attended
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our sentiment analysis dashboard.
Discussion
