Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace University Data Analyst jobs? · Latest report #z3uzhkvv
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTurning tuition fees into meaningless pie charts, one slide at a time.
Senior Query Architect (mostly SQL, allergic to bureaucracy).
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated insights for tenure-track apathy.
oof.youAI▸ ACADEMIABOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates quarterly report generation in milliseconds
You clean messy enrollment spreadsheets and write SQL queries to track student retention rates for university administrators.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who knows why the 2019 census data is corrupted.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Scripting agents scrape legacy databases to replace your manual SQL queries.
Month 5
Real-time AI dashboards make your static slide decks look ancient.
Month 10
Automated data normalization tools fix the messy spreadsheets for good.
Month 15
The Provost starts asking the bot questions directly instead of you.
Month 18 · D-Day
University logs you out and redirects your emails to the server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94%
4,200 annually
Pivot tables generated
65 percent
Time spent in meetings
Weekly
Excel crashes
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the campus library catalog.
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