Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace University Dean jobs? · Latest report #ngmsjnjw
Your job has an expiration date
March 25, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsProfessional shepherd of prestigious decline, soon to be automated into obsolescence.
Institutional gatekeeper of the ivory tower bureaucracy.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing institutional prestige through cold efficiency.
stretchy.youAI▸ ACADEMIASYNC V9▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates faculty tenure denial protocols
You oversee faculty tenure reviews, manage multi-million dollar department budgets, and maintain institutional branding during endless committee meetings. Your administrative grip is rapidly loosening.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform the specific, hollow smile required during donor cocktail hours.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map your calendar to identify which committees can be replaced by email threads.
Month 8
A neural network takes control of department funding based on student satisfaction metrics.
Month 20
AI models automate tenure reviews by evaluating publication citations without bias or mercy.
Year 2.5
Generative agents manage donor relationships, writing personalized emails that never fail to ask for money.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
The Dean office is rebranded as a server room hosting your digital successor.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.5%
24%
Annual Budget Variance
89%
Committee Time Waste
99%
Tenure Bottleneck Probability
Your severance
One free emeritus title and a decommissioned mahogany desk.
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