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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace University Executive Director jobs? · Latest report #bxvwpyw2
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYour career path is just a series of expensive donor dinners.
High-society schmoozer with a PhD in small talk.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated affinity, zero overhead.
stretchy.youAI▸ DONOR-SYNTH 4000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
calculates optimal donor tax break scenarios instantly
You solicit donations, manage board relations, and curate university reputation. You turn institutional prestige into endowment growth.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a wealthy alumnus is about to change their will.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI systems begin drafting personalized donor engagement emails.
Month 5
Software monitors board meetings to predict donor withdrawal risks.
Month 10
Digital platforms replace the need for physical event coordination.
Month 16
Smart agents handle all routine donor solicitation calls autonomously.
Year 2 · D-Day
The system fully manages the institutional endowment without human intervention.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.6%
98% algorithmic
Donor retention rate
0 seconds
Gala speech duration
100%
Lunch bill savings
Your severance
One lifetime membership to the University Alumni lounge.
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